can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
