well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
