just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
