How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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