YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she peed on how many people?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We need to get me chipped asap
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
