And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
