Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Randomize
