i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
