guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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