ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
