he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
