Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
