Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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