I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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