her vagine was all disorganized.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
