Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize