Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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