If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
tell me about the eggs
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
