Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
