Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sext me about skeletons
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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