my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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