my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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