ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
