I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
