Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
