idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
