So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize