there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize