I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
