You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
