Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
