I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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