It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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