he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
