can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
