It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
