the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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