R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
