I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
