her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
