I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
