we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
and you said cock pushups were impossible
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
This beer is not sobering me up at all
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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