you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
