the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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