I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
