their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
