Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We got so high we made milksteak
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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