I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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