Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
