so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
