we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
