i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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