omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
