Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
