You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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